I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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