well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
