2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
