one might say we're banned from that church
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
