Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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