Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
