When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
