got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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