Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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