based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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