he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
