if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
