I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
