So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
