i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My ass is underappreciated
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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