The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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