i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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