I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
