Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
