At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
