2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
