New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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