so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
