Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
