K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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