I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
