so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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