We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
