i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
