I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize