There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That accounts for only three of the penises
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
