Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Pooping to opera.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
