Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
