I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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