thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize