It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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