What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
