Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
