East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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