I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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