Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize