there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Come see our sink grown plant.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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