yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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