so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
