So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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