Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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