The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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