I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
