Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
