You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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