So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Every concussion has its silver lining
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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