Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
