you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My feet surprised me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
