oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
