I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
