A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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