If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
